Lord,
This may seem petty, and I very seldom ask, but I really need some money right now. Between getting this car, paying for gas, changing schools, moving, and finding a new job, I have found myself completely broke and needing some serious cash. So please send something my way. Work, gifts, charity, anything really. I just need some cash to get me through the next few weeks.
Thanks Papa!
First, a song:
Whatever thing that I have carried in this place
That will keep me from you
I will lay it at your feet
Whatever burden I have carried for so long
That will keep me from seeing you
I will lay it down right nowAll of the things that are cluttering my mind
I will push them far from here
And listen for your voice
All of the pain that I am carrying inside
I will hand it to you
You will take it, set me free, I will flyI need to hear you speak to me
And I want to feel you in this place
You long to take me in your arms of love
So take me in your arms of love- Whatever Thing
- 100 Portraits/Waterdeep
- Enter The Worship Circle
- First Circle
Then, a prayer:
Father,
I don’t even know who you are anymore. My mind has become so cluttered with junk that I can’t even see your face. I’m sure there are things that I’m putting in there that don’t belong. After all, Garbage In/Garbage Out, and all those thousands of other stupid cliches that your children like to use, right?
You see, though, that’s just it. Looking at all the other Christians out there has begun to wear me down to nothing. I’m sick of seeing all the stupid things all of your other children are saying, doing, and blaming on you. I’m sick of the fashion that you have become. And not just those who spend time with you on Sundays. I’m talking about many of the ones that are in your house every day, in your word every day, wearing your clothes every day, listening to your music every day. It’s like they took you and turned you into a fashion. It makes me sick. I feel like many of those who claim your name are not in love with you but, instead, are in love with the idea of you.
Whats worse though, is that I am sick of looking at it. I’m sick of paying attention to it. I’m sick of caring what other people think about how I live and whether or not it fits in their definition of a walk with You. I’m sick of worrying about whether or not I’m going to offend one of your children. I’m sick of listening to and being part of the on going bickering that is dividing your own children into segregated groups. I am saddened by the use of your word for the purposes of dividing constituents and gaining votes.
I know this is the crux of a relationship with you, but I just want to continue doing what I know you have directed me to do. I want to make my love for you personal and not contingent upon what other people think I should or should not be doing. I want to live my life in accordance with your word, live by your foundational principles for life, and be a vessel for your love for others. I just want to live the way you have called me to live, enjoy your creation, show others your love, and be the best friend/man/husband/father I can be in the best way I know how. Is it too much to ask to be able to live a normal life for you?
I want to stop caring about what your other children think is the “right” way to do things. I want to stop paying attention to all of those people who are trying to fit me into THEIR Christ mold. I want to put on the blinders, barreling forward towards the goal you have set before me, picking up those who wish to come along for the ride, and leaving in the dust the naysayers and those who just don’t get it.
But I need your help. I need your courage. I need your strength. I need your diligence. I need your reassurance, on a daily basis, that I am okay. I need to know that where I am going is where you are. I need to know that you will be there to place my foot on the right stone when I miss a step. I need you to lift and cast aside the unnecessary burdens that I pick up along the way. I need you to take the ridiculous worries about circumstantial obstacles and toss them into the darkness. Lift me above the clouds so that I can see the mountain top in the distance. Place someone in my life who can take care of the obstacles on the ground while I press on towards the mountain. For some, this may not be the best method but, for me, I know this is the way it must be. Distraction, as well meaning as I may be sometimes, is a devil in my life and any thing you can do to remove it is more than welcomed.
Although I know differently, somewhere along the road I managed to pick up the idea that I must carry the weight of the worlds burdens on my shoulders. Help me to trim this down. Help me to learn to only carry that which I can handle and have the power to change. If it is out of my sphere of influence, help me to lay it at your feet.
When I feel someone is doing something wrong, give me courage to speak out and give me grace to understand. When I look at someone and see you as a fashion piece, open my eyes to their heart so that I may see how they really feel about you. When someone says or does something in your name that angers or upsets me, give me strength to keep my mouth shut and mercy to not belittle them. Whenever I begin to feel like I have all of the answers, humble me so that I may see my faulty reasoning.
Finally, keep me from losing sight of you in all of this mess. It’s easy for me to look at all of this crap and forget that you’re in control. It’s easy for me to see all of the mistakes your children make and wonder if you even care. It’s easy for me to let all of the wrongs of the time convince me that you are uninvolved or simply just not there. However, as easy as it is to let those thoughts take control, it’s impossible to turn my back and walk away. Having tasted your goodness, felt your love, and seen your beauty, I could never forget you. Even if I tried.
So, Lord, keep my head clear, my eyes forward, and my heart strong.
Amen.
Father,
Break my heart again.
It’s become as hard as a rock. I feel nothing. I’ve become cynical and skeptical. Critical of all things I hear. When I hear of things You are doing through others, I either write them off as foolish fundamentalists or emotional sensationalists.
I’ve lost my joy of hearing about your work. When people speak about the ways You are moving and the people You are moving through, I scoff. I’m so caught up in the politics of debate that I can’t just rejoice that You are moving through people.
You keep sending messages. You keep picking away at this rock in my chest. I just keep adding more layers over what You chip off. I just want you to shatter it. Smash it. Break it to pieces. Because I think that’s the only way You’ll be able to make it flesh again. You may have to start from scratch.
Criticism. How did I ever come to be so full of the thing I hate the most. You move in more ways that I can or will ever imagine. For me to think You’re not moving in one place or another because of the way a person or group is presenting the message is just pure foolishness. I’m a fool to think you confine Yourself to one style, theology, or denomination. I’m an even bigger fool to think that You will not move through one church, denomination, or group simply because I see their ways as outdated and irrelevant.
Lord,
Help me realize that anything that is truly done in Your name will NOT return void. No matter how foolish it may seem. No matter how much of a waste of time I feel it may be. Help me to put the blinders on and only see the path set before me. You’ve given me a vision. You’ve given me a dream. You’ve given me desires and a destiny. Help put behind me anything and everything that does not move me in that direction. That includes debate and argument about who, what, when, where, and why You are moving. Most importantly, Lord, renew the Joy in my heart.
Thank You Father,
Amen
Lord,
Give me the strength to wade through the muck of the Christian education arena.
Give me the wisdom to discern the goodness from the garbage.
Give me the heart to speak when words must be spoken and the humility to remain silent when silence is needed.
Show me how to apply your filter to my life. I pray that filter separates all that is liberal, conservative, republican, democrat, left, or right from that which is your truth. You conform to none of these titles, Lord. I pray that you will show me that truth and how you work in the midst and intermingle in and around all of those labels. Your written word is sovereign, and your hope eternal.
Pownce.com