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A few months ago, I made the decision to enter into the world of digital SLR photography. It was a good time, since the newest models would be coming out, and the previous models were selling used for great prices on sites like Amazon and eBay. So, after researching what was the best consumer level DSLR and lens for the money, I took the dive and bought a Canon XTi camera body and a Canon EF-S 18-75mm USM IS lens. Based on word of mouth and some pretty exhaustive reviews, this seemed like the best choice for day to day, walk-around photography.

Unfortunately, this purchase would not last very long. So short, in fact, that I barely snapped twenty pictures.

With gas prices steadily climbing, rent increasing, and a general upward creep of all things financial (except for income, of course), something had to be done to create some breathing room to get me through the next few months. So, almost as fast as it had been purchased, the camera and lens went back on the market and, thankfully, fetched, within a few dollars, the same price as the initial cost. Thanks to my camera, I now had a nice cushion. Thanks to the oncoming recession, I now had no camera.

Blah.

Put off photography for another year.

Or not.

After rebuffing her attempts to give me such an antiquated beast, this past week I finally gave in to my mother’s attempts at giving me my grandfather’s old Canon AE-1 SLR. The only thing keeping me from taking it before was the fact that I had a nice camera. I had no need to mess with film since I had a brand new D-SLR sitting on my desk and to mess with a film SLR would just be a waste of my money. Now that the D-SLR is gone, well, I have no reason not to take it.

So, I did.

I think I probably have a better package with this one than I did with the D-SLR. Pawpaw was no slouch when it came to his gadgets. When he bought something, he went all out. I guess it’s a man thing. Of course, I do know a handful of men who will cut every corner possible to save a dime, so I don’t know if it really has anything to do with testosterone or not. Whatever the case, Pawpaw always made sure he was prepared when it came to his gadgets, and this camera was no exception.

Inside the box was a macro lens with a set of three further magnification lenses, a telephoto lens with an additional 2x converter, a midrange walk-around lens, and 2 different flash modules. Considering that I only had one lens, this set, although not digital nor automatic in any way, is likely better in comparison to the one mid-range lens I had for my D-SLR.

After inspecting the lenses and cleaning everything up, I found a couple small problems. First, the flash modules are non-functioning. An unfortunate find, but not a show stopper. I’ll just have to do without taking any indoor photos with this camera for a while. This won’t be a problem, as I really only intend to do outdoor photography and I’ve got a point-and-shoot digital to use for indoor stuff anyway. Second, the camera’s battery door is broken and will not stay shut. Again, not a huge problem, as a quick Google search found a replacement door for $5 alongside a short tutorial describing the repair process. So, there’s one problem that can be side-stepped and another which costs less than a burger and fries to fix. Certainly nothing to cry about.

I must say, I am kind of excited to get out and use this thing. Even though the satisfaction of seeing my pictures now has a few extra steps, I think in the end it will be more fulfilling. Maybe that’s wishful thinking, as I’m sure I will go through quite a few rolls of crap before I start taking really good shots, but I think some anticipation and excitement about how they will turn out may be healthy. I’m always saying how instant-gratification everything is ruining our ability to wait patiently, so maybe I need to start eating some of those words.

As far as cost, I think if I stick with just getting a contact sheet and perhaps a digital copy that I may be able to keep my cost per roll down to around $5, including the cost of the roll. Sure, after a while that cost would add up to the cost of a digital but, with the frequency which I am likely to be taking shots with this camera, that “while” would likely end up being years down the road. By that time, in all likelihood, finances will permit me to invest in a new D-SLR.

In a bit of an ironic twist, most of those I’ve talked to that have anything to do with photography and art have strongly suggested that I learn film first. I pooh-poohed the idea at first, as it is my opinion that everything is going digital and for me to waste my time with analog media would be living in the past. However, as a matter of circumstance, I am now taking their advice.

So, let’s see what develops.
(ridiculously obvious pun completely and fully intended)

So I’m in the art studio today, and Prof. Berry starts talking about the importance of focus.

He said that rarely are we ever focused on what we are doing. We are usually either thinking of what we did in the past which cannot be changed or we are thinking of what we are going to do in the future which we really have no control over either. He said we are rarely ever focused on the moment and so we lose much of what life has to offer. We are so lost in what has or hasn’t already happened that we have no idea what is happening. He said it’s more about the journey than where you end up.

This was his way of emphasizing the importance of a class on the fundamentals of drawing. It forces you to be in the moment; to focus and take in every piece of your subject. A skill at which I’m sure we all need a bit of practice. Lord knows I do.

Funny how life tends to come at you in themes, eh?

I find it quite amusing, looking back, how different things turn out from the way we expect. I’m not speaking of any event in particular, just life in general. It’s not a bad thing. I just find it rather humorous, in a divine sort of way, that things never turn out the way we think, plan, or intend.

Sure, we set goals, and they often are realized, but are the details in between ever exactly how we would have imagined? Often times, even our goals change. They take the shape of our new ideas and thoughts. Soon, you’re looking back and thinking yourself a fool for your original goals. Not because they were bad, but more so because they were ill informed, naive.

Are we ever really going where we think were going? Sure, small things. But the big picture? Career? Family? Friends? Location? Sure, there are extremely driven people out there who make everything they say come true. They painstakingly create their future. These people motivate me.

However, that is a very lonely path. That kind of focus, drive, and determination is the kind that alienates and isolates. I am not saying it is bad, but I know that I am far too relational of a person to live that kind of life. I need interaction. I need conversation. I need input. These things are part of who I am. So, while I find their drive and determination to be motivating, I have to learn to balance that with my need to interact, talk, and build relationships.

Four years ago, I would have told you exactly where I was going, how I was going to get there, and what was going to happen along the way. I was naive. I was not being honest with myself, nor anyone else. I had ideas and goals, but a roadmap was nowhere to be found. To be honest, even if I had a roadmap, it would have been a very lonely road to travel.

I still have career goals. I still have plans. However, now I know that the details are what makes life interesting. Where those goals take us. Where our plans lead us and how they change us. How many lives we can touch on the way. These are the things that make up the journey.

This morning at approximately 3:30, I awoke to the the sky cracking open and an ocean of water pouring down. It was quite possibly one of the most amazing waking experiences ever.

It reminded me of Cambodia during monsoon season and running to the top of our guest house during the storms just to watch the lightning on the mountain behind us. Man what a show. I don’t think I’ve ever heard thunder that loud or seen lightning that bright. We’d go to bed and I’d watch the light bounce off the walls until I drifted off, only to be shaken again by another ripping blast of thunder. Then wake up the next morning half exhausted from lack of sleep.

Man I miss that place.

Seriously.