Recently I’ve noticed a really bad habit.
Within this conciousness resides a tendency to pick people apart until theres barely enough of them left to like. Most people wouldn’t know this about me because I don’t express these things vocally. Well, not often, at least. It’s been surfacing lately though and some people have noted that in the last few months I’ve become increasingly cynnical.
Some people would say that I am being judgemental. I would disagree. Being judgemental would mean that I pick them apart based on appearances, background, musical tastes, etc. I’m not being judgemental when I pick people apart.
The pieces that I pick apart are highlighted through observations. I observe people. I guess thats another one of my bad habits. Watching people, listening to their words, and observing their mannerisms has become almost a hobby.
I could go into great detail about my observations, and the conclusions I’ve made based on those observations, but that would take quite some time. Suffice to say that I’ve spent a lot of time observing, listening, reading, etc., and have noticed a lot of issues ranging from trivial to downright disturbing.
Two things that have stuck out to me in all of these observations:
People are often oblivious to the worst of their issues. The worst issue, I think, being honest self examination. If people were most honest with themselves, stripping away all pretenses, examining their naked, vulnerable self, then most issues would begin to work themselves out. Sure, theres a spiritual element to it. God gave us the power to overcome these things but only through honest self-examination can we expose them so that they may be properly dealt with. People can tell you all day long whats wrong with you but in the end you’re the one who has to decide whether or not there really is something wrong.
The other interesting thing is that the more I observe others, the more I recognize issues that reside within myself. Obviously, being the observer does not make me impervious to the issues I observe. On the contrary, with almost every person I observe, I find almost identical issues that I must deal with in my own life. That’s not saying that I am good at self-examination. I hate self-examination. Not because of what it reveals about myself but more so because of the effort it takes to properly deal with what it reveals about myself. Self-examination takes a lot of effort. A desire to know yourself and lots of effort to do what is necessary in order to deal with what you learn.
Good thing I’m a Psych major…
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